A guy called John Paul Warren once said, "Coming to the end of MYSELF...seems to be the very point that God steps in and shows HIMSELF to be more than enough."
It's been a long few weeks that have been filled up with event planning and preparation, Kids Church rotas and writing curriculum, kids group planning and organising, a leaders conference and two days of marriage preparation classes to name but a few things! I am EXHAUSTED! I have felt like I've been on a treadmill, constantly having to keep up with the pace or end up falling off it.
Now usually I'm the type of person who can easily hack the busy lifestyle that working for a church brings. Usually (although I do NOT make a habit of it) I can cope a good few weeks without a day off. Usually I feel regenerated and refreshed after spending lots of time with lots of people. However, these past few weeks have been different and I've found it really hard to keep up with the pace.
This morning was when I came to 'the end of myself'. My alarm rang out at 6.45am and all I could do was cry. I could barely lift my finger to turn off the ringing let alone heave my weary body out of bed and into Kids Church. I had a whole day ahead of me, I was leading two morning Kids Church services at St Bs, leading another Kids Church in the afternoon on our local estate and then back to St Bs for the evening service. I lay in bed for a really long time, I just couldn't move but I knew I had no option. Whilst dragging myself out of bed through my tears I said to God, "help me, because I can't do this on my own today."
I'd like to say I instantly felt alive and raring to go but it didn't happen. I made it to Church and set up Kids Church with a throbbing head and fuzzy brain. I'd decided while I was setting up that today's Kids Church was going to be as low key as I could make it and that we would probably scrape though, just!
As we do every week, myself and the team prayed before the first service and as I do every week, I asked God to come and have his way with the session. Then we let the kids in...............
I left Church at 1.30pm. I still felt tired but it was the normal sort of tired. The overwhelming weariness, the fuzzy brain, had all gone despite doing 6 hours work. I quietly reflected on the morning and I had to laugh. While I was struggling, while I was tired, while I was at the end of myself, GOD was only just beginning. He was ready to reveal himself and show me what he could do.
This morning God came and met with 79 kids. He drew 79 kids into his presence. He gave words and pictures and feelings to 79 kids. He helped 79 kids deepen their relationship with him.
While we were having a time of listening to God one 9 year old girl had a picture of a letter in a postbox. It was an official important looking letter because it had a seal and stamp on it. She explained that she felt there were other kids in the room who needed to read what this important letter said but for some reason they either couldn't read it or didn't want to. The letter was left with its important message unread. This 9 year old then said it was like God had an important message for some of the children but they were having difficulty hearing Gods voice or they just didn't want to engage with trying to hear from God. I asked the kids to be really brave and put their hands in the air if they thought the picture was for them. The 9 year old girl then went on to pray for those children, that their ears would be opened to hearing from God!
I wasn't in a place where I could hear clearly from God and lead ministry this morning so he spoke through a 9 year old instead. This blog would get very long if I listed everything that happened in Kids Church this morning, but be assured that it was awesome!! God was answering my prayers and showing me that even though I had nothing to give, He had everything! Kids Church was the medication I needed for my soul.
God, I'm so thankful that I don't have to do everything on my own and in my own strength. Thank you that when I have nothing left to give and I've reached the end, you are there. Help me to look to you when life gets busy and to also look to you when I am quiet and still. Please help me to rely and lean on you.
Amen
Sunday, 17 March 2013
Tuesday, 1 January 2013
Happy New Year!
I don't usually get excited about the coming of a new year. I enjoy the celebration of Christmas and all that it brings but I just don't understand the hype of seeing in a new year.
Last night I saw in the new year with a small gathering of friends and my fiancé at his flat. It was nice, we chatted, played games, had food, a lot of booze and we got a great view of firework displays from the balcony. It was a really lovely evening. Once the hugs, kisses and happy new year greetings had ended we got onto the subject of resolutions. What did we want to do this year? What promises were we going to hold ourselves to? I often get quite cynical at moments like this because what's the point? Who keeps their resolutions for more than a month anyway? But I didn't get that feeling. Instead I had a longing and desire within me to make this year count. To gain achievements, to make memories, to just live life differently in some way.
Today we all went for a New Years Day walk. As we talked and laughed our way through the cold and the mud, I began to ponder over what this year could look like. What promises could I make to myself? I haven't formulated a proper list yet but a few things came to mind. One of them is that I want to blog more. I was disappointed with myself for the lack of advent blogs I'd managed to write. Life just got in the way. I want to create time and space for the people I love and the things I love doing. I don't want to get to the end of 2013, look back and see 'life' getting in the way. There are other things too, a bit more personal, that I'm going to hold myself to for this coming year.
Whilst talking about resolutions we also talked about the things we had done in 2012 that were worth noting. I enjoyed remembering the year in this way. I became Assistant Children's Pastor at St Bs, I got engaged, I saw other good friends getting engaged and married and having babies, I became a Godmother, I passed my theology course, I moved house, I launched a new kids group, I preached at church, I got a nannying job, I celebrated turning 28....the list goes on!! At the beginning of 2012 I didn't know half that stuff was going to happen. The year was full of ups and downs, high points and disappointments.
So, as I start to think about my resolutions and wonder what 2013 has to hold, I go into it knowing that the year will have times to celebrate and times to be sad. Above it all though, I know that God has my plan for this year written out, that its safely in his hands and that through good and bad He will be there.
Last night I saw in the new year with a small gathering of friends and my fiancé at his flat. It was nice, we chatted, played games, had food, a lot of booze and we got a great view of firework displays from the balcony. It was a really lovely evening. Once the hugs, kisses and happy new year greetings had ended we got onto the subject of resolutions. What did we want to do this year? What promises were we going to hold ourselves to? I often get quite cynical at moments like this because what's the point? Who keeps their resolutions for more than a month anyway? But I didn't get that feeling. Instead I had a longing and desire within me to make this year count. To gain achievements, to make memories, to just live life differently in some way.
Today we all went for a New Years Day walk. As we talked and laughed our way through the cold and the mud, I began to ponder over what this year could look like. What promises could I make to myself? I haven't formulated a proper list yet but a few things came to mind. One of them is that I want to blog more. I was disappointed with myself for the lack of advent blogs I'd managed to write. Life just got in the way. I want to create time and space for the people I love and the things I love doing. I don't want to get to the end of 2013, look back and see 'life' getting in the way. There are other things too, a bit more personal, that I'm going to hold myself to for this coming year.
Whilst talking about resolutions we also talked about the things we had done in 2012 that were worth noting. I enjoyed remembering the year in this way. I became Assistant Children's Pastor at St Bs, I got engaged, I saw other good friends getting engaged and married and having babies, I became a Godmother, I passed my theology course, I moved house, I launched a new kids group, I preached at church, I got a nannying job, I celebrated turning 28....the list goes on!! At the beginning of 2012 I didn't know half that stuff was going to happen. The year was full of ups and downs, high points and disappointments.
So, as I start to think about my resolutions and wonder what 2013 has to hold, I go into it knowing that the year will have times to celebrate and times to be sad. Above it all though, I know that God has my plan for this year written out, that its safely in his hands and that through good and bad He will be there.
Wednesday, 19 December 2012
It's all in the planning!
I love Lectio Divina so today's devotion appealed to me a lot. I first came across it in a theology lecture on 'Worship and Liturgy' and really enjoyed the time we spent practicing this form of meditation/hearing from God.
I mention in a previous blog spot that sitting and being still isn't something I'm good at but there's something about focussing on a Bible passage that helps to keep my mind from wandering. Also, I never fail to hear from God in these times. That's probably the real reason why I love it so much.
So what did God have to say about John 1:1-5?
The Word was first, the Word present to God, God present to the Word. The Word was God, in readiness from day one. Everything was created through him; nothing - not one thing! - came into being without him. What came into existence was Life, and the Life was Light to live by. The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness; the darkness couldn't put it out. (Message translation)
This is giving us the truth about who Jesus is. John is beginning his gospel by echoing the start of Genesis. He is trying to tell us that the Christmas story, the story of Jesus being born, growing up and dying for us predates EVERYTHING. He was there in the VERY beginning. He was with God, creation was only possible because of him!
In this God reminded me of the bigger picture. The bigger story. The bigger plan. Jesus isn't just for Christmas, God didn't decide on the spur of the moment to come down and take human form. It was all planned. Planned at the beginning of creation. That's where our story starts too. The plans God has for us did not begin the day we were born, they began the day the world came into being. God knew on 18th September 1984 he would need a Becki in the world. He knew he needed you too. It was planned in the beginning. We are part of a massive, wonderful, amazing story and we have a God who has massive, wonderful, amazing plans for our lives!
I mention in a previous blog spot that sitting and being still isn't something I'm good at but there's something about focussing on a Bible passage that helps to keep my mind from wandering. Also, I never fail to hear from God in these times. That's probably the real reason why I love it so much.
So what did God have to say about John 1:1-5?
The Word was first, the Word present to God, God present to the Word. The Word was God, in readiness from day one. Everything was created through him; nothing - not one thing! - came into being without him. What came into existence was Life, and the Life was Light to live by. The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness; the darkness couldn't put it out. (Message translation)
This is giving us the truth about who Jesus is. John is beginning his gospel by echoing the start of Genesis. He is trying to tell us that the Christmas story, the story of Jesus being born, growing up and dying for us predates EVERYTHING. He was there in the VERY beginning. He was with God, creation was only possible because of him!
In this God reminded me of the bigger picture. The bigger story. The bigger plan. Jesus isn't just for Christmas, God didn't decide on the spur of the moment to come down and take human form. It was all planned. Planned at the beginning of creation. That's where our story starts too. The plans God has for us did not begin the day we were born, they began the day the world came into being. God knew on 18th September 1984 he would need a Becki in the world. He knew he needed you too. It was planned in the beginning. We are part of a massive, wonderful, amazing story and we have a God who has massive, wonderful, amazing plans for our lives!
Thursday, 13 December 2012
Woo hoo....JESUS!!
The title of todays blog takes me back to last Friday evening at 'The Attic'. Myself and my co-leader Susie had 60 children sat in front of us and Susie was about to launch into the 'God Slot'. She was giving the children the very first bit of the nativity story, the bit that's often overlooked....when Mary went to visit Elizabeth. The Bible tells us that
"When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the baby leaped in her womb..."
Now that is a pretty cool thing! The little baby (John) inside Elizabeth recognised and knew exactly who was inside Mary (Jesus). He was leaping for joy, expressing his excitement for all that was to come, he was literally exclaiming 'Woo hoo...JESUS!'
Now as Susie told this story we all had to do a little bum wiggle dance whilst shouting 'Woo hoo...JESUS'. It was very funny, if not highly embarrassing to be doing that on stage! It may have been a silly way to show the kids how excited John was about Jesus but it has certainly stuck with me over the last few days and been a good reminder of how exited we should be about Jesus too. My prayer this week is that it has also stuck in the hearts and minds of my Attic children, many of who are unchurched. Please Lord, reveal to them in a new way the true meaning of Christmas and the excitement that brings.
Go on...do a little bum wiggle dance whilst shouting 'Woo hoo...JESUS!'
"When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the baby leaped in her womb..."
Now that is a pretty cool thing! The little baby (John) inside Elizabeth recognised and knew exactly who was inside Mary (Jesus). He was leaping for joy, expressing his excitement for all that was to come, he was literally exclaiming 'Woo hoo...JESUS!'
Now as Susie told this story we all had to do a little bum wiggle dance whilst shouting 'Woo hoo...JESUS'. It was very funny, if not highly embarrassing to be doing that on stage! It may have been a silly way to show the kids how excited John was about Jesus but it has certainly stuck with me over the last few days and been a good reminder of how exited we should be about Jesus too. My prayer this week is that it has also stuck in the hearts and minds of my Attic children, many of who are unchurched. Please Lord, reveal to them in a new way the true meaning of Christmas and the excitement that brings.
Go on...do a little bum wiggle dance whilst shouting 'Woo hoo...JESUS!'
Monday, 10 December 2012
Saturday, 8 December 2012
And he shall be called...
It was time to start thinking of a baby name. My parents had batted around a few suggestions, mainly boy names (!) but nothing had been settled on. One day my dad burst through the door and said 'Rebekah Helen' my mum, rather perplexed asked 'who's she?' And my dad announced it was the name of the baby if it turned out to be a girl.
Yup, that's how I was named.
Other than this little story, I don't know why my name was picked. Often parents will choose names based on special family names or significant meaning. My name means 'Captivating light'.
In 'Bible times' names were hugely important, they represented not only who the person was but also their character. So Abraham means 'Father of many' and David means 'Beloved'. Mary and Joseph didn't get to choose their child's name. I wonder if they did have the choice would they have picked a name which encompassed the character and the future of their baby boy?
God instructed them to call him 'Jesus', a name meaning SALVATION. What a perfect choice! His name describes exactly what he came to do, bring us salvation.
In Isaiah 9:6 Jesus also inherits some other names: Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. You probably won't find these names on his birth certificate but they are equally important as Isaiah is describing the character of this baby.
What if every one of us came with titles like that. To not only have your actual name meaning (significant or not) but to be called and known by your character, the person you really are. Rebekah captivating, light, children's pastor, creative, fun, extroverted Williamson.
It's a little bit of a mouthful but it describes a little bit of me. It's what I or my friends would name me, but just like God named his own son, he has named us too. He has called us his sons and daughters, his princes and princess, his chosen ones, his heirs, his workmanship, holy and beloved. WOW!! That is what God believes in and has called each one of us.
'Rebekah daughter and princess of the most high, created with purpose, chosen and beloved Williamson' Isn't that just incredible? Try it out with your own name! It's who you are, it's why you're here. This is not supposed to be an exercise for increasing our egos but an exercise to firmly plant ourselves in our true identity. Jesus knew from the start who he was and I'm pretty convinced that being rooted in those truths helped him overcome all that he faced. It can do the same for us!
Yup, that's how I was named.
Other than this little story, I don't know why my name was picked. Often parents will choose names based on special family names or significant meaning. My name means 'Captivating light'.
In 'Bible times' names were hugely important, they represented not only who the person was but also their character. So Abraham means 'Father of many' and David means 'Beloved'. Mary and Joseph didn't get to choose their child's name. I wonder if they did have the choice would they have picked a name which encompassed the character and the future of their baby boy?
God instructed them to call him 'Jesus', a name meaning SALVATION. What a perfect choice! His name describes exactly what he came to do, bring us salvation.
In Isaiah 9:6 Jesus also inherits some other names: Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. You probably won't find these names on his birth certificate but they are equally important as Isaiah is describing the character of this baby.
What if every one of us came with titles like that. To not only have your actual name meaning (significant or not) but to be called and known by your character, the person you really are. Rebekah captivating, light, children's pastor, creative, fun, extroverted Williamson.
It's a little bit of a mouthful but it describes a little bit of me. It's what I or my friends would name me, but just like God named his own son, he has named us too. He has called us his sons and daughters, his princes and princess, his chosen ones, his heirs, his workmanship, holy and beloved. WOW!! That is what God believes in and has called each one of us.
'Rebekah daughter and princess of the most high, created with purpose, chosen and beloved Williamson' Isn't that just incredible? Try it out with your own name! It's who you are, it's why you're here. This is not supposed to be an exercise for increasing our egos but an exercise to firmly plant ourselves in our true identity. Jesus knew from the start who he was and I'm pretty convinced that being rooted in those truths helped him overcome all that he faced. It can do the same for us!
Wednesday, 5 December 2012
Silence
Today's devotion encouraged stillness, silence and reflection, all things I am not very good at! I had to be very disciplined to get through the 5 minutes of silence whilst reflecting on God. I'll admit it took a few attempts! Attempt one resulted in my mind being on Kids Church within about 40 seconds. Attempt 2 was no better as I started planning dinner around 2 minutes in. However, I managed a complete 5 minutes of reflection, stillness and silence by attempt 4 or 5. It was difficult as its not my preferred way of sitting with God. I enjoy being creative, going for a walk or connecting with God in worship, but it did me good to sit and just 'be'.
I reflected on today's passage where Zachariah was silenced by God because he didn't believe the things God said he would do. He was silent all the way up to the birth of his child. That's a crazy long time to be mute for! I actually think God was being a little harsh on poor Zachariah. The odds were stacked against them as far a conceiving a child was concerned so you can hardly blame him for questioning God over it. I'm pretty sure anyone in his position would have done the same!
It started me thinking about my own life though and the promises that God has made to me. They are not yet fulfilled because its all in his perfect timing. Does that stop me believing they will happen? Well, yes, sometimes. I have days where I question God over the plans and purposes for my life. When he asks me to do something I have days where I say no and days where I ask why? Who am I to question God over these matters? If like Zachariah, God decided to silence me every time I had doubts and unbelief then I think I'd be permenantly quiet (a blessing for some!)
Father I thank you that you have perfect plans and purposes for each of our lives. I thank you that those plans are bigger than we can even imagine and you reveal them to us in your perfect timing.
I reflected on today's passage where Zachariah was silenced by God because he didn't believe the things God said he would do. He was silent all the way up to the birth of his child. That's a crazy long time to be mute for! I actually think God was being a little harsh on poor Zachariah. The odds were stacked against them as far a conceiving a child was concerned so you can hardly blame him for questioning God over it. I'm pretty sure anyone in his position would have done the same!
It started me thinking about my own life though and the promises that God has made to me. They are not yet fulfilled because its all in his perfect timing. Does that stop me believing they will happen? Well, yes, sometimes. I have days where I question God over the plans and purposes for my life. When he asks me to do something I have days where I say no and days where I ask why? Who am I to question God over these matters? If like Zachariah, God decided to silence me every time I had doubts and unbelief then I think I'd be permenantly quiet (a blessing for some!)
Father I thank you that you have perfect plans and purposes for each of our lives. I thank you that those plans are bigger than we can even imagine and you reveal them to us in your perfect timing.
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